Why I did a bad job on the ACM Programming
Competition
(Excuses offered to avoid working on
the ACM Programming Contest ) (4/13/2003)
The phone was ringing off its hinges. I didn't want to stir the apple cart.
It was so quiet you could hear a needle drop in a haystack. It was time to
separate the wheat from the baby.
I usually don't put my chickens before the horse, but all is fair in
horseshoes and hand-grenades. It was time to get the train out of the harbor
because not everything that shines is baloney. I didn't have many bullets left
in the tank and I was shooting at straws, running on exhaustion fumes, looking
for a seed that would get it over the hump. I didn't want to sit in the hotbox
with my fingers in my earballs. It was a huge incontinence for me, but it's
water under the dam now, so I put the ball in the other shoe, and that took the
steam out of my sails. No point in making a molehill out of an elephant. I mean,
you can try, but it's like waiting for toast to boil. That's why I say you
shouldn't let people get under your goat. If you do the legwork, you'll have all
of your balls in the air. It's like six of one and two dozen of the other.
Eventually the penny will come home to roost. You are the wind beneath my
cheeks.
From the recently discovered tomb "Essays in Smitherisms"
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