One of our colleagues is known - perhaps
NOT
deservedly - for butchering the English language and mixing his metaphors.
In honor of Spooner and due to the fact that his name is Smith,
we call them Smitherisms. To appear on this page, a
Smitherism may
1. Actually have been uttered by Smith
2. Been attributed to our colleague by someone who was allegedly there
3. Been stolen from any source with the idea that "This is something Smith
would say if he
had thought about it."
In no particular order......
"This place is going down the tubes
in a hand basket"
"David and Delilah"
"Apparently we have been kissing
up the wrong tree"
"Sodom and Gonorrhea"
"He went to OCS at PepsiCola Naval
Air Station"
"You are counting the chickens
before the cart"
"A journey of a thousand miles
is worth two in the bush"
"That is like leaving the fox in
charge of the outhouse"
"Robbing Peter to pay the piper"
"The fallen arches of MacDonald's"
"*$&% or get off the fan"
"Rome wasn't built as the Romans
do"
"Rome wasn't built in an egg"
"The ark came to rest on Mount
Arafat"
"He wouldn't strike a lick at a
snake in a pie factory" (version 1)
"He wouldn't strike a lick at a
snake in a pie factory if the directions were on the
heel" (version 2)
"If a wild bear *&!%s in the
woods and no one is there to hear it fall, does it make a noise"
"... hit the floor like a brick
outhouse"
"...thy rod and thy staff and a
fifth of Southern Comfort.."
".. that is like the pot calling
the grass green"
"...hotter than a two dollar bill"
"He is up the creek without both
oars in the water"
"The book of Ephesiastes....(and
Carcinogens and Occlusions and Epesiotomies)"
"The
NY Marathon starts on the Bolzano-Weierstrauss bridge"
"God sent 10 commandos to spread
pesticides on Egypt"
"We will burn that bridge when
we get to it"
"I showed my calculus class how
to circumcise a rectangle in a circle"
"If it had a been a snake I would
of bitten it."
"...A Jack-in-the-bean-box."
"Running around like a chicken
with it's legs cut off."
"Great minds run shallow"
"He'd fight at a drop in the bucket"
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